Kingdom Hearts: What Disney Didn't Want You to See
by The Ultimate Life Form
Summary: This is the good stuff Square Enix didn't want to show you. This is Kingdom hearts Bigger, Longer and UnCut.
1. Chapter 1

This is what the game didn't want to show you. Either cause they were to embarrassed or they just didn't feel like it. Ladies and gentlepeople, what Kingdom Hearts didn't want you to see.

Kingdom Hearts: Bigger, Better and Uncut!

After a hard day of slaying heartless, Sora, Donald and Goofy went to Destiny Islands to rest. "Wanna chill out over at my house?" asked Sora. Donald and Goofy nodded and went to Sora's place. When they arrived however, they found lots of other people at Sora's place. "What is everyone doing there? It's not my birthday you know." Said Sora.

"We know." said Kairi. "I was cleaning up the house, and I found this." She held out a small DVD box, in which was labeled **_Kingdom Hearts: Bloopers_**. Sora looked at the box.

"Bloopers?" he said puzzled.

"Yeah." said Riku. "It looked good, so me and Kairi invited everyone over to watch it." Sora jumped on the couch and put his arm around Kairi.

"Sweet, well what are we waiting for? Role that thing Riku." Sora said. Riku nodded and popped in the DVD.

Kingdom Hearts: Bloopers 

_(Scene were Riku is being absorbed by the darkness.)_

Riku: But I'm not scared. I'm not afraid of the darkness. (darkness begins to swallow Riku) WHAT IN THE… HEEEEELP! (now crying) SOMEONE HELP MEEEEEEE! GET ME OUT OF THIS HELL HOLE!

Director: Cut. Okay someone get him out of there.

End

Everyone cracks up laughing. Riku didn't find it funny at all. "Hey you would cry too if you got swallowed by a black hole."

_(Scene where Donald and Goofy are walking to the Gummiship)_

Goofy: Oh I got ya. While were in other worlds we can't let on were we're from. We gotta protect the world order.

Donald: Boarder. Huh……………wait a sec.

Director: Cut. (Take 2)

Goofy: We gotta protect the world odor.

Donald: (sighs) Its boarder Goofy. Boarder!

Director: Cut. (Take 3)

Goofy: We gotta protect the thing I'm supposed to say. (Donald trips and falls down the stairs.)

Director: CUT!

End

All laugh and Donald puts his hand on his forehead.

_(Scene were Sora is falling the beginning of the game)_

Sora is falling through the darkness, when suddenly he falls smack into the stain glass floor of Beauty.

Sora: Ow! That really hurt. Ain't I supposed to fall on my feet, and who put this floor here? (sighs) I need some coffee. (Sora walks off set to get a cup of coffee)

End

_(Scene were Sora is in the secret place at the beginning game)_

Ansem: This world has been connected, tied to the darkness. Soon to be completely eclipsed. (mean while Sora is looking around in the darkness for the cloaked man)

Sora: Hello? Anyone there? Hello?

Director: He's behind you Sora.

Sora: Well I can't see him, it's freaking dark in here.

Director: Cut, okay lets try it again.

_Take 2_

Ansem: This world has been connected, tied to the darkness.

Sora: Who's there? Who are you?

Then Sora feels a hand on his shoulder and panics and runs into the wall.

Director: Cut. ANSEM!

Ansem: Okay, okay, sorry. Lets do that again.

_Take 3_

Ansem: This world has been connected, tied to the darkness.

Sora: Who is that? Whose there?

Just then Sora felt his pants get pulled down. Riku had just pants him.

Sora: RIKU! I'M GONNA KILL YOU FOR THAT!

Sora turns around and tackles Riku and starts wrestling with him. Riku was laughing all the while.

End

Sora looks at Riku who is trying to suppress laughter. "Okay Riku. I can take a joke." Said Sora calmly.

"Good." Said Riku. "Because it isn't over just yet."

_(Scene where Sora, Donald, and Goofy meet Riku in the Transverse Town)_

Riku: So this is the keyblade?

Sora: Hey give that back!

Riku: Here, take it.

Riku magically throws the keyblade back to Sora, but it appears behind Sora, and hits him in the back of the head, and knocks him out.

Director: RIKU!

Riku: What?

End

_(Scene where Sora Kairi and Riku are running down the beach)_

Sora, Kairi, and Riku are running down the beach, when suddenly Riku puts his foot out and trips Sora making him eat a mouth full of sand.

Director: RIKU!

Riku: He tripped himself.

Sora: I did not you tripped me!

Riku: Come on! With feet that big how could you not trip?

End

Back in the house everyone is in stitches. Sora is red with anger, but Kairi feels sorry for him.

"Don't worry Sora. I'm sure you're not the only one they make fun of." Just then Riku cut in.

"Your right Kairi. Your in here too."

_(Scene where Sora is looking at the drawings in the hidden place)_

Sora is looking at the pictures of him and Kairi in the hidden place. Sora has the flash back, but when it comes back to the present, he has drawn a mustache on Kairi's picture.

Director: SORA! Hey, thats pretty good.

Sora: Thanks. I should be and artist.

End

_(Scene where Sora is a heartless and Kairi is hugging him) _

Sora as a heartless runs to Kairi, and she reaches out and hugs him. Sora transforms back to a human, but suddenly farts.

Kairi: SORA! Come on! That was disgusting!

Sora: Oh give me a break. Heartless can't fart, and I've been holding that in since lunch.

End

_(Scene where Kairi and Sora are near Kingdom Hearts, at the end of game)_

Sora: Kairi!

Kairi: Sora!

They run towards each other, then the ground shakes. Instead of catching her however, Sora misses and Kairi falls into the endless abyss. Just then Pain and Panic appear at Sora's side.

Panic: She isn't gonna be happy when she gets out.

Pain: If she gets out.

Sora: If. If is good.

End

Back at the house Kairi glares at Sora. No one speaks, afraid they might set her off.

"We are going to have a talk about this later." Said Kairi very strictly. Sora frowns.

"I'm sorry Kairi. I've been a bad boyfriend." He said, and Kairi looks back at him.

"Don't even try it." She said, and Sora muttered 'Damn' under his breath.

"You two are so cute when you fight." Said Riku, but Kairi smiled evilly.

"Now come on Riku. Did you really think that you where left out of the fun?"

_(Scene where Riku and Sora are on the bridge at Destiny Islands)_

Riku: Sora! Here catch.

Riku tosses the Paopu to Sora.

Riku: If two people eat it the Destiny's become intertwined. I know you want to try it don't you?

Sora: (excitedly) YEAH I HAVE! (swipes fruit from Riku) Kairi, come here and try this.

Riku chases after Sora.

Riku: Hey! Come back here! I wanted to try that with her!

Director: Cut!

_Take 2_

Riku: Here catch! (tosses the fruit to Sora)

Sora: What the… (Sora hits fruit back to Riku and the fruit hits Riku in the head)

Director: SORA!

Sora: What? That thing could've killed me!

_Take 3_

Riku: Here catch! (tosses fruit to Sora)

Sora catches the fruit, then smiles evilly.

Sora: Here Riku!

(Riku turns around, and Sora tosses the fruit back to Riku, and it hits him in the nuts. Riku makes a weird face, and falls off the bridge into the sand.)

Director: SORA!

Sora: What?

End

_(Scene with Maleficent and Riku in the Tranverse Town)_

Maleficent: See? He traded you in. Tossed you aside and simply replaced you.

Riku frowns, but then feels a hand on his butt.

Riku: What the hell?

He turns around to face Maleficent. She then winks at Riku.

Riku: Oh God!

Riku begins to throw up.

Director: MALEFICENT!

Maleficent: Well I can't help it. He's cute.

End

Back at the house everyone was on the floor with laughter. Riku has sunk completely into his chair. His face red with embarrassment.

"Don't worry Riku, I'm sure someone had it worse then you." Laughed Sora. Steam came out of Riku's ears.

_(Scene with Cloud and Sora at the end of the Coliseum) _

Cloud: Here. Take this and never lose sight of the darkness.

Cloud puts something in Sora's hand. It's a girl's thong. Cloud grabs it back from Sora and quickly pockets it.

Cloud: Sorry that's mine.

Cloud blushes.

Sora: (sweat drop)

End

Arieth glares at Cloud. Cloud has his head down in embarrassment.

"You aren't going to get off so easy." Said Arieth threateningly. You couldn't see through the scarf, but Cloud was scared out of his mind.

_(Scene where Sora is in the hotel with Leon and Yuffie) _

Kairi: Hey! Wake up you lazy bum.

Sora: Huh? Kairi?

Sora sits up dazed. Looks around the room to see Yuffie and Leon making out in a chair in the corner of the room.

Sora: (sweat drop)

End

_(Scene where Sora, Donald and Goofyare about to fight Leon and Yuffiein the Coliseum) _

Donald, Goofy and Sora are ready for battle. The caption says **_Final Battle: Leon and Yuffie. _**They get ready, and the caption is removed, and there stand Leon and Yuffie. However they are standing there making out.

Sora, Donald and Goofy: (sweat drop) and then begin to laugh)

End

Back in the house, the DVD screen says **_Intermission. _**Donald turns the lights on and Leon and Yuffie are in the back making out. Suddenly Leon breaks off.

"Hey! What happened? Turn the lights back off." He said angrily.

"Sorry you two love birds. But we have to stop here. The movie is at and intermission." Said Riku. Sora spoke up.

"Well what are we supposed to do until it starts up again?" Just then Kairi grabbed his ear.

"You and me are going to have that talk remember?" she said. She pulled him towards another room and saw Cloud going the opposite way with Arieth.

"I hope this is a short intermission." gulped Sora.

_**To Be Continued… **_


	2. Chapter 2

I'd like to thank everyone who laughed at my fic, and yes I did think of this myself. Now sit back and enjoy the story.

Now back to the story… 

Back in the house Sora and Kairi were coming out of the room, where Sora was white faced from his horrifying talk with his girlfriend. Riku couldn't help but laugh at the look on his friends face.

"So, what did she say?" he asked. Sora leaned over and whispered it in his friend's ear. After he was done, Riku flinched. "That bad huh?" Sora nodded, and Riku patted his shoulder. Then Cloud came from another room. Cloud was just as white as Sora, but they sat down there girlfriends next to them. Riku hits the lights and the intermission ended.

_(Scene where all the villains are planning to kidnap the princesses)_

Jafar: Well what do you think?

Just the Oogie puts down a hand of cards.

Oogie: I think 2 pair is good.

Ursula: 3 of a kind.

Jafar: Full house for me.

Hades: 4 of a kind.

Goes to take the pot, but Maleficent lays down her hand.

Maleficent: I think a Royal Flush will beat that.

Hades bursts into flames and burns down the card table.

Hades: WHAT! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? THAT'S 3 FREAKING HANDS IN A ROW! ( turns blue and calms down)

I need some coffee.

Jafar: (leaning on his staff drinking a latte) What a baby.

End

_(Scene where Sora is fighting Sephiroth in the coliseum) _

Sora and Sephiroth are going at it. Sora has Sephiroth down to his green health bar, when al the sudden Sephiroth says, "Sin Harvest"

Sora's health goes down to one, and his MP zero. Just then Sora speaks.

Sora: Cut, cut, cut. Hold it. Wait just a second.

Director: Cut. What's wrong Sora?

Sora: Do you have to ask? I spend all of my time dipping, ducking, and dodging this guy. The flame pillars, the energy balls, the meteors, and that damn 7 ft. katana. And all I have is this stupid key. But now, your telling me he can raise his hand and kill me with just two words? You know what? Get Donald or Goofy to do this. I QUIT! (Sora throws down his keyblade) I need some coffee. (walks of stage)

Meanwhile Sephiroth is leaning on his katana drinking his coffee.

Sephiroth: What a baby.

End

Back in the house everyone is laughing at Sora, but then Sora yells out.

Sora: None of you wimps ever fought Sephiroth. You have no idea how hard it is.

Just then Cloud, Yuffie, and Cid, cough loudly to make themselves heard. Sora sinks back into his seat with embarrassment.

_(Scene in Atlantica where Sora, Donald, and Goofy are fighting Ursula) _

Sora is bashing at Ursula's head with the keyblade. Just then Ursula sucked up Sora. Goofy bashed Ursula in the back with his shell, and suddenly Ursula swallowed Sora.

Sora: (yelling at the top of his lungs) HEY! GET ME THE HELL OUT OFF HERE! IT'S DARK, AND I HATE THE DARK!

Director: Cut. Can someone get him out of there?

End

_(Scene with Sora and Riku fighting in the Hallow Bastion) _

Sora and Riku are clashing keyblades, when suddenly Riku swings and cuts off Sora's arm. Sora looks at his arm, looking for words.

Director: Cut. You okay Sora?

Sora: Do I look okay? I'm losing blood by the gallon here! He cut my arm off. HE CUT MY &$ ARM OFF! I need some coffee. (walks off stage to get coffee.)

Riku: What a baby.

End

_(Scene in Coliseum where Sora, Donald and Goofy are fighting Cerberus)_

They charge at the three headed dog. Cerberus opens it's mouth to bite and Sora quickly covers his head to defend himself, but then nothing happens. Sora opens his eyes to see Cerberus sitting down, his eyes on Sora's keyblade. Sora moves the keyblade back and forth, Cerbrerus not taking his eyes from the sword.

Sora: Hey guys, watch this. Here doggy. See the sword? Where go catch it!

Sora throws the sword, and Cerberus catches the sword and brings it back to Sora. The whole teams laughs, and Hades is ticked off as he watches the pathetic display.

Hades: (sighs) I need some coffee.

End

Back at the house Leon looks puzzled.

Leon: hey Sora I have a question. How come after every scene someone needs coffee?

Everyone turns around to look at Leon. They are all holding cups of coffee.

Sora: Why do you ask Leon? (Sora takes a sip)

Leon takes of sip of his mochachino.

Leon: Ah, it was just a question.

_(Scene where Donald and Goofy are about to blast off in the Gummi Ship at the beginning of the game)_

Donald: (gives Daisy the thumbs up) BLAST OFF!

The arrow points down and they fall into space.

Director: Cut. Good job guys. Lets do it again.

They reset the set and did it again. Once again Donald gave the thumbs up, and they fell into space and blasted off.

Director: Cut. Okay one more time guys.

Donald: (sighs, but then comes up with an idea) Goofy, this time we aren't going down. We are gonna blast out of here.

Goofy: I don't think that's a very good idea Donald.

Donald: Ah, whatta you know you big palooka.

Director: Action!

Donald: (gives the thumbs up, but then smiles evilly) BLAST OFF! (he yells it so quickly that they blast off straight before they knew what happened.) Hahahahaha! What now huh?

Just then Goofy taps him on the shoulder

Goofy: Uh, Donald.

Donald: What? (just then they saw a brick wall coming right at them) Ah phooey! (shouted Donald, then they ran into the wall, and half the world blew to smithereens. Inside the world the king, queen, and the director where all looking sorely at Donald) Haha, I guess I've got some explaining to do, huh?

End

_(Scene in Neverland where Riku brings up the Anti-Sora)_

Riku: Here. I have something that should keep you entertained. (Riku summons up a black figure that is supposed to be the Anti-Sora, however Snoop Dogg comes out of the ground.

Snoop: Yo! Fashizzle your nizzle! It's me, it's me, it's the D-O-double G. Ya hear brotha?

Sora: and Riku: (sweat drop)

End

_(Scene in Agraba where Genie is being controlled by Jafar) _

Jafar: Now for my second wish. Genie crush them!

Aladdin: Genie no!

Genie: I'm really sorry about this Al!

Genie fires shot of magic that hits Sora. Just then Sora is turned into a girl.

Sora: Hey! What the…

(Suddenly Riku slips Genie a twenty. Just then Sora freaks.)

RIKU! GET BACK HERE! YOU ARE SO DEAD!

End

_(Scene at the end of Agraba where Genie decides to go with Sora)_

Genie: I'll stick with you, and together we'll find Jasmine.

Aladdin: Thanks Genie.

An hour later, Genie is sitting with Al reading g a book. Just the he hears his name.

Genie: Masters calling me. (genie poofs to where Sora, Donald, and Goofy are sitting eating lunch)

Sora: (holds jar up to Genie) Can you open this?

Genie: (Sweat drop)

End

In the house everyone is in stiches with laughter. Just the Riku spoke up.

Riku: Sorry to say you guys, but we only have 3 left, So here we go, and I think they saved the best for last.

Sora: Alright! Then let's get to it!

_(Scene where Hades is giving the pass to Sora to enter the games)_

Hades: You have the eyes of a champion.

Hades hands something to Sora. Sora opens his hands, and stares at what Hades gave to him.

Hades: You have a special someone don't you?

Sora looks down at the condom Hades gave him and smiles.

Sora: (yells out) Hey Kairi! Come over here for a second!

End

_(Scene in Halloween Town where they are trying to give the Heartless a heart)_

Dr. Finklestein: Let this heart give my creation life!

Everyone watches as the creation raises. Everyone gasps.

Michael Jackson: Hey everyone! Come play with me! (Just the his nose falls off) Sora and Donald fall over and are unconscious)

Goofy: Garwsh! I think they fainted.

End

_(Final blooper) (Scene in Coliseum with Sephiroth, the 2nd try)_

Director: Okay Sora. Ready to give this another try?

Sora: Yeah, sorry about last time. I just freaked out a bit. But I'll beat him this time.

Sephiroth: Just try, short stack.

Director: Okay then. Ready? Action!

Sephiroth take out his sword, and Sora readies the keyblade. Sephiroth flies towards him, but Sora rears his foot back and… WHAM! Sora's big foot connects with Sephiroth's nuts. The one winged angel grabs his sack and goes down.

Sora: YEAH! WHAT NOW YOU ONE WINGED FREAK? BEAT THAT SUCKA! YEAH!

Director: (sweat drop) Cut!

End of DVD

Everyone in the house is in tears with laughter. The lights go on by Donald and everyone begins to make their way out.

Riku: Man! That was some shot to the nuts. You must have ruined his chance at children.

Sephiroth: I'm just lucky I don't have a girl to use them on.

Kairi: We have to do this again real soon.

Sora: Well, we are in luck. In one month the author is gonna write a sequal for the second game.

Author: Aw man, do I have to?

(Everyone glares at me.)

Fine, I'll do a sequal.

**_To be continued in: Kingdom Hearts 2: Bloopers of the Best Kind! _**


	3. Chapter 3

One day I got really bored and I decided that what you people could use is some more blooper related goodness. So here you guys go!!!

_**Chapter 3: Lost Bloopers and Behind the Scenes of Organization XIII**_

Back in Sora's house everyone was…well…how can I put this? Bored.

Sora: I'm bored.

Everyone: WE KNOW!!!

Sora: Where's AJ with the rest of the bloopers?

Riku: Not sure, but he said he would be back soon.

Kairi: Well it's been soon, and now it's past soon and he's still not here yet.

Sora: I need some coffee.

Riku: That gag is over.

Sora: (sweat-drops) I didn't get the memo.

AJ: I'm back.

Kairi: Finally, what took you so long?

AJ: I had trouble finding the _**Lost Bloopers. **_

Sora: Why?

AJ: Because, if they weren't lost I would have found them much easier.

Riku: How did you lose them?

AJ: ……… I don't know.

Everyone: (sweat-drops)

Sora: Can we have the lost bloopers to watch?

AJ: No Sora, its _**Lost Bloopers. **_

Sora: Why do you say it like that?

AJ: Because, when you find something that is _**Lost,**_ you're supposed to say it like that.

Riku: Whatever, can we just have the tape?

AJ: (sighs) Fine. I have to teach you people on your euphemisms.

_**Phoenix Fire Alchemist (finally presents): Kingdom Hearts: The Lost Bloopers, and Behinds the Scenes of Organization XIII **_

_**Scene in the beginning of the game where Sora is falling towards Destiny Islands.**_

Sora runs up to Kairi on the beach. They look at each other for a moment, when Kairi sees the second Sora falling threw the air. Sora looks up at the double as it comes closer to crashing into him. Before it does however, the stunt Sora spirals in mid-air and takes off and begins to fly.

Stunt Sora: I CAN FLY!!!

Real Sora: He can fly?

Kairi: He can fly?

Riku: He can fly?

Peter Pan: He can fly!

Donald and Goofy: He can fly?

David Hasslehoff: He can fly!

Sephiroth: Oh great! He can fly.

Leon: He can fly?

Roxas: I can fly?

Riku: You're not even in this game!!!

Director: He can… wait… CUT!!!

_**Scene End **_

_**Scene where Sora and Sephiroth are fighting in the coliseum.**_

Sora and Sephiroth are going back and forth in the coliseum. Sora goes in for and attack, but Sephiroth forms a pillar of fire around himself.

Sephiroth: Heh. I'd love to see that twerp get threw this.

Sora, Donald, and Goofy: (roasting hotdogs and marshmallows)

Goofy: A-hyuck! Convenient huh?

_**End Scene**_

_**Scene from KH2 where Roxas and Axel are fighting in the underground chamber in the mansion in Twilight Town. **_

Axel and Roxas and battling it out in the raging inferno made by Axel. Roxas takes a swing at Axel but the pyro ducks, and with a swing, cuts off Roxas's left hand.

Director: (looking concerned) CUT! Roxas, you okay?

Roxas: Am I okay? Am I okay? My "so called" best friend, just cut my hand off!!!

Axel: Ah, stop whining. You'll get another one, a really cool mechanical one. Oh, and Roxas, I have something to tell you. (Making his voice really low) Roxas… (Breaths heavily) I am your father.

Roxas: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

_**Scene End**_

_**Secret Scene at the end of KH1. The preview for KH2. **_

Roxas is slaying the heartless, until he catches sight of Riku. He then begins to run up the building towards Riku. Riku jumps off the building and flies down towards Roxas. As soon as they pass each other Riku speaks.

Riku: You know, they waxed the building before the scene.

Roxas: They what?

Just then Roxas loses his footing and falls all the way down the side of the building, and lands face first on the ground.

Director: Cut! (to himself) Great, now we have to clean up the building and Roxas.

_**End Scene**_

_**Scene with Sora and Sephiroth in KH2. **_

Sora and Sephiroth and going at it in the Dark Depths. Sora goes for a swing, but Sephiroth teleports away and raises his right hand.

Sora: SHIT!!

Sora runs towards Sephiroth full speed. Just then a smile appears on his face. When he finally reaches the one winged angel he rears his foot back and… WHAM!!!

Sora: ……… YEOWWWWWW! What the hell was that? (grasping his foot in pain)

Sephiroth: (reaching in his pants and pulls out a lead cup) Always have protection handy.

Director: CUT!!!

_**Scene End **_

_**Scene in beginning of KH2 where Sora, Donald and Goofy are running up the spiral steps. **_

Sora, Donald and Goofy are running up the spiral steps while killing the heartless. Suddenly Sora loses his footing and begins to fall down the stairs.

Director: Cut! Alright, when Sora stops falling we'll try the scene again.

(2 hours later)

Sora: (still falling down stairs) Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow…

Director: What the hell?

Namine: (in room drawing pictures of Sora falling down the stairs)

Hehehe.

Director: NAMINE!!!

_**Scene End**_

_**Scene with Sora and Sephiroth. (2**__**nd**__** try) **_

Sora and Sephiroth are fighting once more in the Dark Depths.

Sephiroth: Finally, I can get threw a scene with no complaining.

The fight rages on until Sephiroth teleports once more, and raises his hand. Before he can get out the words "Sin Harvest" Sora has his foot already reared back.

Sephiroth: Sorry, but it's not going to work remember?

However, instead of going for the kick, Sora reaches out and…

Sora: TITTY TWISTER!!!

Sephiroth: YEOW!!! (begins to chase Sora around the Dark Depths) I'M GONING TO KILL YOU, YOU LITTLE BRAT!!!

Director: (sweat-drops) Cut!

_**End Scene **_

Back at the house everyone is in stitches laughing over the remaining bloopers.

Sora: Aw man! That was great, I wish there where more.

AJ: Well, actually you're lucky. Thanks to your nobody, Roxas has supplied us with a little more comedic action.

Everyone: (looks at Roxas)

Axel: Well Roxas? Is there something you want to share with us?

Roxas: I don't know what he's talking about!

AJ: (waves tape in front of Roxas) Oh, I think you do. (puts in tape)

Roxas: Oh great! (sarcastically)

_**Roxas Presents: Behind the Scenes of Organization XIII **_

Roxas: (starting up camera) Is this thing on? Hello. My name is Roxas, number 13 of the ever feared Organization. Now we know this group for creating Castle Oblivion, trying to take over the worlds, and our leader for creating Kingdom Hearts to give hearts to all nobodies. But have you ever wondered what they were doing behind the scenes? Well my friends, only I have the goods, and I will now share them with you.

_**Back at the house**_

Xemnas: What is this about #13?

Axel: Chill superior. Roxas is just trying to have some fun, and besides, we'll get to see the good stuff. So partner, who's first? Larxene, Marluxia, Demyx?

_**Back on the video **_

Roxas: I' am currently outside the room of my best friend, #8 Axel. Now this member is my friend, and he is an awesome fighter, and a great guy. He may be the prankster of our beloved group, but what is this prankster doing in his spare time? Let's take a look. (Roxas sticks the camera in the crack in Axel's door and lets the camera roll)

Looking around Axel's room, the place is covered in posters of Roy Mustang from Full Metal Alchemist. He is holding a poster of the cornel, and has a Mustang plushie in his other arm.

Axel: (snapping his fingers) How do you do it Roy? I'm the Flurry of Dancing Flames, yet I can't do it. (kisses his poster) Roy, I wish you were real. I'd date you instead of having my crush on Roxas.

Roxas: (looks at camera and slightly blushes) Okay…um…well…I guess…NEXT ROOM!!!

_**Back at the house **_

Back at the house, all eyes where on Roxas and Axel. Roxas was blushing madly now, but Axel was embarrassed and pissed off.

Axel: You are so dead.

Demyx: Oh come on Axel. I think it's cute, and besides… (pinching Axel's cheek) It's what Roy would want.

The house bursts into laughter, but before anyone knew what happened, Axel had Demyx pinned against the wall, and Axel's weapons where poking at the blondes throat.

Axel: Not only am I a higher # then you, but I out rank you too. So don't push it water boy!!!

_**Back on the video**_

Roxas: Next is the most feared member of the Organization, and I'm not talking about Xemnas. We have to be careful because, if she catches me I'm dead. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Larxene, behind the scenes.

Larxene: (laying on her bed in a cheerleader outfit, and talking on a cell phone) I know, he was sooooooo out of line. He said what? OH MY GOD!!! You can't be serious? She doesn't even know him! (blows a bubble with her gum) OH MY GOD!!! Yeah, he is hot! Demyx is such a hunk, I'd want him to date me!

Roxas: (looking at Larxene opened mouthed) I won't ask if you won't. (the video goes fuzzy for a minute, then Roxas returns) Next, well be taking a look at Demyx. Also being a good friend of mine, this member of our group is well…kinda useless. Not only can he not do his missions, but he is a coward when it comes to facing the others. I'm not even sure why Xemnas keeps him around. But since the video won't be complete without him, let's check up on him. Shall we? (Roxas opens Demyx's room, and walks carefully in. He looks around to see that it is quite normal. Music posters of rock bands line the wall, his sitar is laying against his bed, and the room is a bright blue.) Everything seems normal, I guess he's not… (but suddenly Roxas hears something) What the? (He looks around the room, and sees another door slightly open, he goes curiously over to the door, and looks inside)

Demyx: (in a bathtub with bubbles holding a yellow rubber duck)

(singing) Rubber ducky you're the one, (squeezes the duck which squeaks) you make bath time lots of fun, rubber ducky I'm awfully fond of you, boo boo boo be do! Rubber ducky you're so fine, (squeezes) I love you and your mine oh mine, rubber ducky I'm awfully fond of you! (Demyx sings threw the whole song, and Roxas turns the camera to himself, his face red and tearing from laughing)

Roxas: This is going on Youtube!

_**Back at the house**_

Demyx has sunk into his chair, red with embarrassment, and Larxene is staring at the screen, her mouth open.

Riku: (Calls from over his laptop) OH MY GOD, I FOUND IT!!!! (Everyone goes over and watching the singing Demyx video)

Larxene: I can't believe it. LOOK WHAT THE LITTLE TWERP DID TO ME!!!

Demyx: (losing it) DID TO YOU? DID TO YOU? I'M ON THE INTERNET SINGING NAKED IN A BATHTUB!!! AND YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR REPUTATION?!!!

_**Back to the video**_

Roxas: Now, we have to be careful on this next one. We are about to spy on the leader of Castle Oblivion. As Axel calls him "the flower loving fruit cup" Marluxia. Now don't let the pink hair deceive you. That isn't a rubber scythe, and I have the scars to prove it. So what does our scythe wielding warrior do when he's alone? (Puts camera into the crack in Marluxia's door)

Marluxia: (Skipping threw his flower filled room with a watering can) (singing) I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and bright. It's a pity, for any girl who isn't me tonight.

Roxas: Wow! Axel, I owe you five bucks.

_**Back at the house**_

Axel: (On the floor rolling around with laughter) OH MY GOD!!! And I thought you were a fruit before!

Marluxia: (takes out scythe, and points it towards Roxas)

_**Back on the video**_

Roxas: Now we have the big guy Lexaeus. The biggest of the Organization members, but also the kindest. Weird huh? Anyway, let's take a peek. (Looks around Lexaeus's room, but he is not there) Hm? Okay then, next room. (camera change) Zexion, or as everyone else says, Mr. Emo. Let us check up on Zexy shall we? (unfortunately, like Lexaeus, he is not in either) What the? ( camera change) I guess, we'll just do #7 Saix then. (looks in, but nobody is home) Oh come on! (goes down to the Organization common room) I guess I can find a empty spot, and just tell you stuff there. (When he gets there though, the room is occupied) WHOA!!!

Inside the room, Saix, Lexaeus, and Zexion where sitting there, all holding dolls and watching… DUN DUN DUHHHHHHHH. Teletubbies.

Saix: Tinkey Winkey!

Lexaeus: Dipsy!

Zexion: La La!

All three: Po!

Roxas: (shakes his head in disgrace) That is SO wrong.

_**Back in the house**_

Axel: Teletubbies, Teletubbies, (hugs the 3 kid shows watching members) BIG HUG!!!

Zexion, Saix, and Lexaeus: (red with anger)

_**Back on the video**_

Roxas: (running) We have to hurry, or we might not catch it on time. (just outside of Luxord's room) Okay, we just made it. Now, here we have, Vexen, Xigbar, Xaldin, and Luxord. The oldest, and wisest members in the Organization. So what do these guys do in there spare time? Wait till you see this! (peeks in the room)

The room is dark, but not for long. Suddenly, the lights all come on, and there stand the four members. Vexen is dressed as a fireman. Xigbar is a construction worker. Xaldin is a police man, and Luxord is an Indian.

All Four Members: (doing the motions) It's fun to stay at the YMCA, it's fun to stay at the YMCA!!! (they all dance and sing the song in full succession, and Roxas is beside himself in laughter)

Roxas: Ladies and gentlemen, behold. Another Youtube moment!

(camera change) Now, we are almost done, we just have one more. My boss Xemnas. Now you must think I'm crazy for doing something like this, and you're right. I get it from Axel Anyway, our feared leader has made and artificial Kingdom Hearts to give all nobodies like me hearts. And while it is really nice of him, we have to see what he's doing now. (looks in his bosses room)

Xemnas: (sitting at his desk playing with action figures, holding a Xemnas and Sora action figure)

Sora: We will stop you Xemnas.

Xemnas: No you won't, I'm too strong, and I have silver hair.

Riku: So do I.

Xemnas: But mine is more lush and real.

Sora: Damn it! He's right. We can't beat hair like that.

Xemnas: No you can't. NOW THE WORLDS WILL FINALLY BE MINE!!!

Riku and Sora: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Roxas: Well there you have it. The crack heads that make up our beloved Organization. I just hope that you will all still come to fear and respect us after this. (camera becomes fuzzy)

_**Back in the house**_

Roxas is on the verge of being killed by his own group.

Xemnas: When we get back to the headquarters, we are having a meeting about the exacution of #13.

Everyone: (Agrees)

Axel: Whoa, whoa, whoa!!! Let's not jump to hasty decisions. Now we all know Roxas did us all wrong, but you know the saying "do unto others what you want others to do to you"?

Larxene: Yeah so?

Axel: Observe the screen my dear.

_**Axel proudly presents: Making Fun of Roxas**_

Axel: Hello? Hey peoples. As you just saw, the entire Organization was just humiliated by our number 13 Roxas. So as they say, revenge is sweet, and I know for a fact that this is going to be sweet. So, shall we? (looks in Roxas's room)

The scene for Roxas's room is pretty dull. The room looks normal, and all Roxas is doing is laying on his bed and listening to his CD player.

Axel: I know this is pretty boring, but patience people, patience.

Suddenly, Roxas takes off his head phones, and looks around his room. Roxas checks his closet, and the door, which Axel briefly slips away from to be unnoticed. Once Roxas thinks it safe, he goes over to his stereo and turns on music. He then gets a candle from his draw, and uses it as a microphone.

Roxas: (singing, and dancing like Charlton from The Fresh Prince) It's not unusual to be loved by anyone. It's not unusual to have fun with anyone. But when I see hanging around with anyone, it's not unusual to see me cryyyyyyyyyyyyy, I wanna die. (Roxas sings the entire song, and Axel laughs at the display)

Axel: Chalk up another one for Youtube!

_**Video Ends**_

Everyone is back in the house looking again at Riku's laptop for the dancing Roxas video, and alas…

Riku: OH MY GOD!!! I FOUND IT!!!

Sora: Hahaha, this is classic!!!

Kairi: You know Sora, you and Roxas are the same person.

Sora: (sweat drops) AHHH! TURN IT OFF!!!

AJ: So guys, what'd you think?

Everyone: (glares at me)

AJ: (sweat drops) Heheh, looks like I got some explaining to do.

Well there you go gang! It may have took me a while, but I finally got you some more bloopers and laughs, and I got more on the way. So be patient and R&R.


	4. Chapter 4

Guys, as much as a hate to admit it, we are almost done with the Kingdom Hearts bloopers. Since this will be the last installment of the fic, I am going to end this with a bang. So ladies and gentlemen, I am happy to do the final chapter with a Kingdom Hearts Celebrity Jeopardy! Hope you all enjoy, and thank you for your support.

_**Kingdom Hearts Celebrity Jeopardy **_

In the house everyone has gathered for the final tape of the waited for KH bloopers. Sora is growing inpatient. "I'm growing impatient."

"Why do you always have to steal what the author says?" asked Riku looking at his best friend.

"It says I'm growing impatient, so I may as well act the part." Riku shrugs and nods, and there is a knock on the door. "Kairi can you get that?" the female gets up and goes to answer the door.

"Sorry I'm late guys. It took me longer to type then expected. Anyway I finally got the tape of when you guys were on SNL." Axel looked over at me.

"You don't mean the skit when we did Celebrity Jeopardy do you?" I nodded.

"The very same." Axel began to bounce on his seat with excitement.

"Then what are you waiting for? PUT IT IN! PUT IT IN! PUT IT IN!" he yelled in excitement. Sora just looked questionably at me.

"What's Celebrity Jeopardy?" he asked and everyone in the room gasped.

"Sora! How can you not know what Celebrity Jeopardy is?" asked Riku.

"It's the funniest and most famous skit on Saturday Night Live!" added in Leon.

"Well can we see it?" asked Sora and I nodded.

"I won't keep you in the dark any longer. Behold Sora, the funniest thing in the universe." And with those words I threw in the tape.

_**Phoenix Fire Alchemist presents**__**Kingdom Hearts Celebrity Jeopardy**_

_(Cue music)_

The crowd can be heard clapping and the camera focuses on Will Ferrell who has taken the role of Axel Trebek.

Trebek: Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. For those of you who decided to join us here tonight, it is my regret to inform you that you have no lives. Tonight we have a special kind of Jeopardy. We have the characters from the hit video game Kingdom Hearts as our guests tonight. (crowd cheers) It is now time for Double Jeopardy, so let's take a look at the scores. Ansem has set a new record with negative $256000 dollars. He accomplished this goal by answering every question with the word darkness.

Ansem: Darkness is eternal. (crowd laughs)

Trebek: Terrific. Next we have Axel with and astounding negative $75000 dollars. He would have answered a question in the last round, if he hadn't had set his buzzer on fire.

Axel: This is why I'll just make the buzzy noise during the next round, got it memorized? (crowd laughs)

Trebek: I'll keep that in mind. And finally in first place with not a damn thing, we have the star of Kingdom Hearts So……… wait a second, what are you doing here? You're not Sora.

Sean Connery: Nice to see you too Trebek! (crowd cheers)

Trebek: Mr. Connery how did you get in here?

Connery: I used to power of animation to come here and make your life miserable once more you pansy. (crowd laughs)

Trebek: (sighs) That's just great. Now let's take a look at the categories for Double Jeopardy. They are…

_Potent Potables_

_Kitties or Doggies _That's when I show you a picture of an animal and you tell me whether it's a kitty or a doggie.

_Harry Potter_

_An Album Cover_

_Famous Horses_

_Do Nothing_

And

_Colors That End in "ellow" _

Trebek: Ansem, since you are in last place the board is yours.

Ansem: I'll take Ever Lasting Darkness for 256000. (crowd laughs)

Trebek: That's not even a category.

Ansem: Darkness will swallow you!

Trebek: (looks at Ansem questionably) Axel, why don't you pick.

Axel: (holding a Trebek plushie under a lighter, but puts them both down when he is seen, crowd laughs) My turn eh? I'll choose the world famous actor Don Othing for 300. (crowd laughs)

Trebek: (sweat-drops) That's Do Nothing. DO NOTHING for 300. In this category all you have to do is sit there. (crowd laughs) Just don't do anything and you all win.

Axel: (makes the buzzy noise) Can you repeat the question? (crowd laughs)

Trebek: You're an idiot. (crowd laughs) Well Ansem and Mr. …

Ansem: (buzzes in)

Trebek: Why did you buzz in?

Ansem: The buzz reminded me of darkness. (crowd laughs)

Trebek: And you remind me of why I hate this job. (laughter) Mr. Connery it seems like you…

Connery: (buzzes in)

Trebek: Mr. Connery why?

Connery: Because I hate you Trebek. (laughter)

Trebek: (looks over angrily at Connery) Mr. Connery just pick another category.

Connery: Alright you beef wooded apple john, I'll play your little game. I'll take you mother for 5000. (crowd laughs)

Trebek: (looks at Connery confused) What? My mother isn't even a category.

Connery: I beg to differ you Canadian ponse. I believe there is a category up there that says Famous Hores. (crowd laughs) HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Trebek: (looks angrily at Sean but continues) Let's just go with Harry Potter for 400. (noise sounds off) And it's a video Daily Double. When the picture of the character from the movie comes up, all you have to do is name that character and you win. Here's the character. (a picture of Harry comes up and the crowd laughs) Name this character.

Ansem: (buzzes in)

Trebek: Ansem.

Ansem: Batman. (crowd laughs)

Trebek: Batman isn't even in the Harry Potter series. (Connery buzzes in) Mr. Connery.

Connery: _Who _is Batman. (Crowd laughs)

Trebek: (sighs) No. (Axel makes the buzzy noise) Axel.

Axel: _What _is Batman. (laughter)

Trebek: And of course the answer was Harry Potter. (laughter) Axel why don't you try picking a category?

Axel: Alrighty then. I'll take Anal Bum Cover for 600. (crowd laughs hard)

Trebek: (looks questionably at Axel) That's An Album Cover, not Anal Bum Cover.

Connery: We can read Trebek! That says Anal Bum Cover! I spend 5 years of my life trying to invent an Anal Bum Cover! Failing to do so has been my greatest regret. (crowd laughs)

Trebek: And it's time for Final Jeopardy. (crowd laughs lightly) The category is… you know what? (rips up the card) Colors. Just write down a color you think is pretty. (crowds laughs, cue Final Jeopardy music) Any color at all. It can be orange, or blue, pink, or even a color that ends in "ellow". You'd have to be complete idiots to mess this up. (music ends) Now let's see how you managed to mess it up. (laughter) Ansem, you wrote…… (looks at Ansem's card to see his entire speech about darkness from KH1) An entire speech on darkness. (laughter) You were asked to write down a color and you got it wrong.

Ansem: Darkness will collapse on your heart. You infidel. (crowd laughs, and Trebek moves on)

Trebek: I'm sure it will. Axel, you wrote down……(looks at Axel's card which is blank) Nothing, and that's because you set your whole podium on fire. (laughter)

Axel: So? Just use your imagination. (crowd laughs)

Trebek: Mr. Connery, why don't we just check what you wrote? (looks down at Connery's card which said "red") Oh my god! You put down red. Are we recording this? You actually put down red! Red is a color.

Connery: (sighs) I know I could be hard on you lad, but it's all in good fun. Just wanted to give you an easy time Trebek. Hope you understand.

Trebek: (stunned) Why thank you Sean. That's…that's very nice of you. Now why don't we check what you wagered. (The card reveals Connery's wager) October. (crowd laughs)

Connery: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Great movie wasn't it Trebek? HAHAHAHA! (crowds laughter continues)

Trebek: Fabulous. I'm going home, putting my head in the oven and turning it on high. (crowd laughs) Good night. (cheering)

_(Cue Music)_

Back at the house everyone and I are in stitches with laughter. Sora is rolling on the ground from the tape. "That was classic!" he said holding is side. It had hurt from laughing so hard. Axel kicked back in his chair and smiled.

"One day in my life I'm never going to forget." He said happily. Just then Kairi looked over at me.

"Is there anymore?" she asked, but I shook my head.

"I hate to say it but no. This is all I have." Everyone in the house moaned, but I continued. "But come on. The story isn't going anywhere so you can always go back and read your bloopers again."

"This is true." Riku said, and Sora nodded.

"Well, I hope you guys enjoyed my Kingdom Hearts Bloopers, the _**Lost Bloopers,…**_" Sora looked at Riku and spoke.

"How does he do the whole booming voice thing?" Rkiu shrugged.

"Behind the Scenes with Organization 13…" Behind me the entire Organization waves. "And of course our KH Celebrity Jeopardy."

"I know I did. AWHAHAHA" Said Sean Connery from behind me.

"Happy reading guys!" I said and the entire cast waves from behind me.

_**Special PSA **_

"Hi. My name is David Hasslehoff, and this story is a great example of why you should never do drugs. Good day to you all. I'm off." The Baywatch music begins and David runs off slow motion into the sunset.

**THE END **

I'd like to thank all of you who stuck with me threw this fic, and I am sorry it has to end like this. You guys have all been great. This wouldn't have been possible without your support. I'll try to think of more stuff and I'll post it up under another story, but until then happy reading!


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